[Mccoypottery-talk] OT - WARNING! re: kids (was: OUR LIST)

[Mark Jennings]

(This is off topic and long, but since it was brought up on the list, I've 
taken the time to write this for everyone with children, grandchildren, or 
even if you know anybody with children. Please read. It could literally 
save their lives if you don't already know about this scheme).

Betty in IA wrote:
" ... Mapquest will give you a map of the best route to your home. For all 
the parents that put the phone number of their kids in the back of jackets 
and back packs it is spooky."

That's exactly right. The names of younger kids should *NEVER* be written 
on any of their belongings that they wear or carry, including back-packs, 
coats, jackets, big "book-binders," etc., etc., etc.

And here's another great/terrible way that kids can be nabbed that I 
learned when my kids were small .....

..... I took them to a nearby larger town for their first piano recital. (I 
had already been divorced since they were ages 1 & 2, and I've had them 
half the time ever since). We were so excited! I played a duet with each of 
them, including my then 5 year old son. He actually did a great job. 
(taught him since he was 4 - continues to play now - daughter did a good 
job that day, too. She was 6). It was "cute" to watch a small boy play the 
piano and have it sound really decent, if I do say so myself.

Immediately after the recital was over and the people starting milling 
around, a man in a suit hurried to the stage with what appeared to be a 
professional 35mm camera. He said he was a photographer for the local 
newspaper. He was "laying it on as thick as molasses," asking how a dad 
manages to do such a good job teaching his own children, telling me how 
they were such fantastic musicians already, especially Wesley - my 
"dark-eyed, dark-haired, dimpled" son - because he was so small. He asked 
if I had my "talented children" in a special private school, or "just in 
public school." I told him they attended public school.

He said that he wanted some pictures of Wesley at the piano, some standing 
by it, some while seated on the bench, etc., and one would be chosen for 
their newspaper. I was flattered! Wesley was actually real cute at that 
age. He was small and hadn't started "changing teeth" yet. He was 
especially cute that day in the green short pants, the knee socks, the 
dress shoes, and the white shirt with the green bow-tie. Mallory was like a 
living doll in her frilly pink dress and big brown eyes. The guy said he 
wanted everyone to see and read about how "such a cute little 5 year old 
boy can play already," yada-yada-yada. I told him, "Sure! Go right ahead!" 
:-))  My grandmother was the only other family member that went that day. 
She would tell you that "my head wouldn't have fit into a foot tub."

That night on the phone, I told the story of the photographer to a friend 
of mine, a piano professor at that town's only university, and one of the 
older members of the piano teacher's forum that I'm involved with. She also 
had students who performed that day. She has lived there for many years and 
knows everybody in town, so to speak. At this point, she was very concerned 
that we had had a predator attend our recital (and took steps to try to let 
everyone else involved with the recital know about this, and to find out 
who he was, which didn't happen). She hesitantly said, "Mark ... I saw the 
man you're talking about. I've never seen him before. I'm acquainted with 
the staff of the local newspaper, and I know for a fact that he does *not* 
work with them."

My heart leapt to my throat. I had many different powerful emotions, one 
right after the other. She and I talked about this for a while, and she 
helped me to calm down - to a degree - by making sensible suggestions. But 
I felt like a fool for not having thought for one millisecond of the 
possibility that he was anything but sincere. I was stunned, petrified ... 
and **enraged.** At the time, I would have given anything to have found him 
to ask him what he was up to - AFTER I bashed his teeth in with a baseball 
bat. (I'm *not* kidding).

Many things in my imagination consumed me. I didn't sleep well at all that 
night. I began the very next day telling everyone we know about this. On 
the next school day, I left early with the kids, parked the car, walked 
them to their classrooms and told each of their teachers, the other 
kindergarten and first grade teachers, a 2nd grade teacher that I happened 
to know personally, and the principal. I told each of them the whole story. 
They seemed extremely concerned, thanked me for telling them, and said that 
they took this sort of thing very seriously. They told me that since he 
took photos of Wesley, it was entirely possible that MALLORY was his 
target. They said that he could have kidnapped her, and if she resisted 
whatever his "lure" was, he could have said something to the effect of, 
"Wesley's with me. Look! I have his picture! If you'll come with me, I 
won't hurt him."

We had already talked to the kids more than once about "strangers," etc., 
but it was a balancing act trying to warn them of the potential danger with 
what had happened without scaring them, and without causing them to be 
afraid of every "nice" adult they saw.

The principal said that we'd better be sure and not let either of them out 
of our sight - outside at home, or anywhere else. They kept an extra 
special eye out on them at school that year. They watched them closely at 
lunch time, *LIKE A HAWK* at recess, and until they were inside the car 
when we picked them up. I would've gone to the police if I could have 
remembered more than, "a 'larger' 50-ish man in a suit with a camera."

This happened 10 years ago. Mallory is 16 now (driving - OMG!) and Wesley 
is 15. I never heard anything else from/about whoever that was.

mj